Tea now, coffee later. Inconsistency sucks. So does short attention span.


Now I'm feeling that I am wasting my time doing nothing. I want to have a job, that's for sure. But I don't pressure myself much. All I want is to do something. An investment. From material to immaterial. Having lots of things liking to do makes me end up doing nothing, really. -_-


All I have (and being seriously doing) now is a growing kingdom in Castle Story. *sigh

That volleyball game the church had this evening is timely. Well, you know, serving and receiving. But I want to focus at one point. These days, I was being reminded about being "served". I'm pertaining the slang way. I got served. Bigtime.


I know for a fact that as a youth leader, I must acknowledge the presence and the capabilities of other people. Even those outside the church. But I don't know, and I don't want to know anymore, why lately, I've been being unaware of it. I feel and think like I am better beyond the others. I am guilty as charged.


Maybe I was pacified. I get used by how the people treats me. It's overwhelming. It feels good. But somehow, I feel something is wrong. No, it shouldn't be about me. It is never about me.


I believe others have a word, may it be said or kept. They also have their "best". And as a leader, I should see it. I should recognize it. I should develop it. Not the negative "should", but the "should" that is because you know it is your joy. It is always my joy. It's a joy to see people being in their best. Because it is not just about me.


I thank God for this revelation. I thank God for reminding me that humility is not just a value but is a fruit of the Holy Spirit inside of me. I thank God because He let me understand that this is the true joy. To see people's best. Teaching them, guiding them, letting them and admitting that some of them will really be better than you. But the good news is, even if we got served, God's assurance of our position will never change. We are the apple of God's eyes. :)

Something will happen this September. It's kinda sad but it will be good. :)

Labels: AfterFiveYears

        I always tend to look in the sky at night when it is brighten up by millions of star. It sizes the same. Appears the same. Twinkles the same. But one night, a star caught my eye. It looks bigger than the usual. Twinkles brighter than the usual. I believe this star is always there waiting to be noticed. Then I realized, this star is just as normal as the others. But appears thrice better in my eyes. I can't help but to look at it. Stare at it. I am caught deeply. And I can't help but to smile. 

        The star suddenly fell. And to my shock, it appeared into my hand. I can't keep my eyes off it. I am deeply drawn, really drawn. I hold onto it and close my hand. Then I put it in my heart. And sealed it.


        Now I'm living with the star. The star that put himself into me. The star that shows his bright light only to me. The star that can't be taken away. The star that doesn't want to be taken away. The star that dances in every beat of my heart. The star that moves and tickles my heart. The star that put my smile back. And that star is you.



People can always see good things about people. But that doesn't mean, they will always do something about it. There will come a time that some will try, and some will fail. And sometimes, it's you who cannot do something. Maybe that's why a "trust" word exist. But Trust isn't trust-y when there's no Assurance in it. Now, people who found T with an A will only smile. A smile that's like from a star in a heart. :)

..is when you are reminded of your worth. :)

I always believe that Hope is better as noun than verb. Hope is the subject, not an action word. The noun is certain. But the verb depends. That is one example of how the world defines such words nowadays.



One thing I realized today, it's better to do everything at your best. I just thought, God wants me to achieve higher level everyday. So wherever I am now, I know God will take me soon and lift me up one degree higher. 'Cause God never want us to stop believing and pursuing. He doesn't want us fail and be bound in failure. As Dada said, it's amazing how we put our eyes on Jesus while He put His eyes on us too. The more we lift Him up to praise, the more He lift us too from the rest. So whatever difficulties we are facing today, it doesn't matter. Because soon, we'll never be in that position anymore.



Reminding oneself that outer forces cannot affect you unless you let them to is good. But remaining calm and easy in a world full of disappointments and pride, it can be hard to tell. But all things are from Him and through Him. When Hope you see, then Hope it'll be.

"There are words meant to be kept, when there are actions that are expected to be done."

After two hours, I got myself a new friend. Let's name him, "Deedee".

I am unemployed. That's true. But that doesn't mean I'm doing nothing. I normally do church related things (Media and Youth thingy) that are needed to be done. I take care of Milo, my beloved dog, whenever I'm home. I am still doing some school stuff regarding my F137 and TOR. I usually think life and where it will lead me. And take note, I'm busy with Castle Story and Candy Crush.

I know this feeling is usual whenever something came up. But the fact that it's getting usual disappoints me. You cannot always count on people. You cannot always rely on them. 

« Older posts | Newer posts »